Down and Dirty
– From Becoming A Fulfilled Father by Joyce Meyer
Nehemiah 2:11-17
So I came to Jerusalem and was there three days. 12Then I arose in the night, I and a few men with me; I told no one what my God had put in my heart to do at Jerusalem; nor was there any animal with me, except the one on which I rode. 13And I went out by night through the Valley Gate to the Serpent Well and the Refuse Gate, and viewed the walls of Jerusalem which were broken down and its gates which were burned with fire. 14Then I went on to the Fountain Gate and to the King’s Pool, but there was no room for the animal under me to pass. 15So I went up in the night by the valley, and viewed the wall; then I turned back and entered by the Valley Gate, and so returned. 16And the officials did not know where I had gone or what I had done; I had not yet told the Jews, the priests, the nobles, the officials, or the others who did the work.
17Then I said to them, “You see the distress that we are in, how Jerusalem lies waste, and its gates are burned with fire. Come and let us build the wall of Jerusalem, that we may no longer be a reproach.”
Ecclesiastes 4:9
Two are better than one,
Because they have a good reward for their labor.
Romans 5:3-4
And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope.
Let’s fast forward. You had the initial chat with your child and you are now regularly having more intentional dialogue. Now, you are occasionally talking about things like life, faith and biblical manhood or womanhood. Where might these conversations lead in the future? How could this all play out?
Your compassion and passion for your child will be disarming. This will provide emotional space so you can both take a magnified look at areas that need mending and spots that could be fortified in your relationship.
As you begin some dirty work of healthy but uncomfortable conversations, do not be surprised if you discover that some things you thought were working are not. Conversely, do not be shocked to learn that a few things that you thought were insignificant are making a huge difference.
No matter how grinding, or emotionally painstaking you find the rebuilding and restoration to be, take heart. If God showed us all future discomfort along the road we were to travel, we rarely would take the first step. The discomfort and learning are a key part of the process.
God will carry you through these uncomfortable conversations as he works in and through you. One talk at a time. One day at a time. One brick at a time.
To help you build, you will need help. We all do. Especially when the work is hard. Just as Nehemiah assigned specific sections to rebuild, make sure you enlist the help of others:
Your spouse
Your child’s coaches or teachers
Other fathers
Let them help where needed. The Lord has plans for them too.